please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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