I CAN MOONWALK!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
