he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
