He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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