her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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