Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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