In the future we'll all be gay
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
