I wish I only lived at night.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
