If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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