im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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