Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
