hell yes lets make some ravioli
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
