did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
