I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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