The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just had sex on a roof
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
