Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
