It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
