He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
