If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
