Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
