I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize