So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
