Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
