Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
