Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
