Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
