I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
