yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize