Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Can you bring me the toilet please
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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