Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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