Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I understand Curling. That high.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
