I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
