I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
