So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just cropdusted the office
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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