We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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