Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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