i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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