So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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