You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
