Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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