Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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