I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
