i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
