I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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