i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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