Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
