I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize