hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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