Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
