i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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