if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
