I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
