I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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