Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
