these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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