arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize