I'm jealous of your bromance
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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