TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
