Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
