Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
i believe in u and ur pee
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