What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
high people should be assigned attendants
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
