you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
