I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
