what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You are the jesus of drinking
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
